The Tally

It's been almost four months since I've started my treatment.

I´ve seen lots of progress and lightening. The cost so far including doctor's visits, peels, creams, sunscreen, and makeup is about 600 Euros...not too bad. It's definitely worth it, in my opinion. The cream is the cheapest of them all, it is specially formulated and cost only 9 Euros, the most expensive are the chemical peels 100 a pop and if that day I have to have a special consultation with the doctor add another 100.

I have to call this week for another peel, my fourth... I think I only have 2 more left and maybe some laser on my right cheek where I have that persistant spot, although it covers up nicely with makeup. I would like to get rid of it so as not to worry about a comeback.

All I can say is that I am in good hands, definitely reassuring with a prestigious well known dermatologist.

Still Here

It may seem as though I´ve disappeard,....but I´m still here. Same battle, same struggles.

Maybe I´ve thought there wasn´t much to post. Maybe I haven´t felt like taking a picture, I haven´t felt like taking a closer look at my spots. I´m scared to see them darker. I´ve seen new ones appear but they aren´t as evident.

How do you see my skin. Do you notice progress? I feel as though I am plateauing.

Next week I go in for my third Miami Peel...another 100 Euros. I still wonder if it works, if it helps. I do trust my doctor. I feel as though he cares. The office is loaded with patients, of all kinds, not just melasma...I think that is a good sign. He is the one that performs the peel, not a nurse...another good sign.

My Second Miami Peel

Yesterday afternoon I had my second Miami Peel.

The doctor was happy with the improvement in my skin. I told him I hardly peel after my first Peeling and he said that was normal, he wasn´t planning on peeling me like a banana!!

As he applied the chemicals on my face, they burned less than the first time, which was minor burning anyways. I was sensitive in the cheekbone area and told him not to scrub as much as last time. I left the clinic a little red but am now back to normal.

I´m suppose to continue as usual. My hydroquinone 6% cream and retinoic acid, sunscreen, and Avene Couvrance makeup. We´ll see what happens.

Last time I peeled on my left cheek which helped improve the spot alot. Would love if that happened on my right cheek this time.

I told the doctor I wouldn´t mind staying the way I am, and that I was scared of the spots darkening again. He told me not to worry and not to be scared.

I feel confident with him. By the way he was packed with patients..not just for melasma.

I´ll update with pictures soon.

2 Months Post Treatment

Well, I´m at the 2 month mark of starting my treatment.

Lots of changes have occured. My skin has lightened up quite a bit, especially my dark spots. I see a big difference in general. My skin is more even toned. I can tell because each time I need less makeup and less effort to coverup my spots.

I don´t think I will ever get rid of my spots, and if you look closely there are lots of little ones hoping to acquire a larger diminsion.

I was scared at first at the intensive treatment of hydroquinone I was put on 5 % and now 6 %. I am still worried about the aftermath of my treatment and possible darkening, but for now I am enjoying my progress.

I am scheduled for another Miami Peel on Tuesday afternoon. Actually, I am not sure if that helped much, but I am being obedient and following the recommendations of my doctor. I want to make sure I put in my 100% to improve my melasma. Not cure it... I think there is no cure. I wonder what my maintance treatment will be.

I so wish I could see others pictures. Those of you who are going through the same. Those of you who like me probably wish you lived in a protective bubble away from the sun.

P.S. My camera is still holding out. The pictures don´t have the greatest quality.

As you can see the side pictures always look lighter. The frontal picture is a little darker. I think the camera reflects my image with 98 % accuracy. If you click on the photos you can get a closer look.

The second picture is my right cheek and the third my left cheek.

Update

I´m still here, still on my treatment, and still hoping my melasma stays put.

It´s been almost 2 months.

I´ve had some success in lightening and as I said I am happy to stay the way I am, but I am going to listen to my dermatologist and go in for my next Miami Peel. The first one went well, only slight peeling which helped my left cheek.

I am now on hydroquinone 6% and retinoic acid 0.025% cream, specially formulated by the pharmacist. I put it on at night and in the morning. I know this is scary, but it doesn´t burn my skin or anything. I have no reaction to it. I have heard some horror stories about hydroquinone in other blogs and have my worries.

As I said before, I am having camera problems, but hopefully tomorrow I can get another one and post pics. It´s always good to see how others are doing.

Progress???

I wake up every morning and rush to the bathroom mirror to see if my spots are lighter, less visible. Lately they look a bit darker to me. My husband and children (the only ones that see me without makeup) say they look lighter.

To tell you the truth I don´t even need them to look lighter, just please, don´t get darker.

Yes, I´m in slight panic mode, considering last time I was in treatment after initial lightening my spots got darker and worse. My mom says to me "you must have faith"... I get angry and tell her she has to understand my worries... my father on the otherhand stares at me in awe, incredulous to the improvement and change in my skin.

I wish I could just stay the way I am.

What stage am I at???

I still have at least 3 more Miami Peels.
I have easy makeup application.
No visible spots with makeup.
Check out my pictures to see me without makeup.

By the way...my camera broke!!!
I´ll find a replacement soon... or a substitute.

Me at the End of the Day

After summer is over is when the dark patches start. For me this Fall is starting out whiter. I have hardly been out in the sun and if I have it´s been well protected with a hat or an umbrella.

I do know lots of people will start my same battle with Melasma.

One of the best things my doctor has recommended to me is the makeup Avene Couvrance Compact Foundation. It last all day without touchups.

At first I wasn´t too sure about it. It seemed to thick and fake. If you apply it you must first find your correct color. I use sable. Apply near a window. Start from the middle and work outwards (use the sponge applicator it comes with). Spread evenly and with patience. Then if you have darker spots to cover use your fingertips to gently tap. When the foundation is blended in I use Estee Lauders translucent Loose Powder in Light Medium, it gives me a nice golden glow. I apply them with a big powder brush. I have used these for 15 years, I love them. I do not apply blush because I think it accentuates my dark spots.

Avene Couvrance has helped me take the focus off of Melasma, I feel like I have a normal complexion. You would never guess I was fighting against melasma, would you?

A week After MY First Miami Peel

After the peel my skin felt dry. It peeled only lightly especially on my left cheek. It was almost as the dark skin literally just fell off.

I don´t see much of an improvement only a slight improvement. The dermatologist said I needed from 4-6 of these depending on results, every 2-3 weeks.

During my visit to the dermatologist I did tell him I was very pleased with the results and would stay the way I was. I told him I am not aiming for perfection. I do want to finish with the treatment, I guess I am just scared it will get worse. I am happy the way I am now.

Easy makeup application, which covers all my spots.

The Day After 1st Miami Peel

Yesterday I headed to my dermatologist for my one month visit. He was very impressed at the lightening of my melasma. He took pictures and then proceeded to start the "Miami Peel".

First they cleaned my face completely, placed a cold gel like mask on my face and in the background started up relaxing music. After about five minutes he came back and did a "Gentle Peel" which was a fast sweep with a sandpaper type machin to clean my skin deeper and probably take away and dead skin cell layers. He then placed the cold gel like mask again, for 5 minutes. Afterwards he came in with a cotton gauze and applied the chemicals, the smell was a bit strong. He sweeped it across my face but dedicated more time on my cheeks where I have darker spots, it kind of hurt as it felt he was scrubbing away. He then placed the cold gel pack on my face again so it wouldn´t sting so much, the stinging was just like a light sunburn. After a few minutes he came back and applied a second coat of the acid. He placed the cold gel pack again and after about another 5 minutes the stinging sensation was gone. The assistant placed sun cream on my face and I was allowed to put makeup on that she provided.

My skin felt like I had a sunburn but it was not red. I proceeded with the same skin treatment as before.

I still am not peeling, my skin feels dry and a little cracked around my nose area.

He has sent me another cream that the pharmacist has to prepare, with 6% hydroquinone and 0.025 retinoic acid.

I have to go back in 2-3 weeks for another peel.

The Day Before

Tomorrow I go in for my first Miami Peel to the dermatologist, and my first visit since I started treatment a little over a month ago.

I am very pleased with the results thus far and am just happy to see the fading, my makeup routine has simplified and diminished in application time.

Just Whiter

There´s a relative I see only once a year during the summer. Yesterday we met up. She looked great, relaxed and tan. She on the other hand said to me, " you look the same only whiter" ....of course!!! She´s use to seeing me during the summer in my better, sunloving days. I use to love getting that golden tan especially on my face, it made me look healthier, prettier... I thought.

So I wonder, if whiter meant, I looked pale and sickly and then I thought looking at myself in the mirror how much better I felt without that dark tan on my face. I do miss a little golden on my arms and face, but overall I feel better.

By the way, I instantly explained to her that I was going through a skin treatment for my melasma and that I had to keep away from the sun. Hydroquinona and the sun don´t mix...ever, neither during or after treatment.

Back from Vacation

Well I just got back yesterday from almost a month away, even though I´v managed to post a few times or maybe just once.

My parents noticed a big change, my mom says my skin looks a lot better in general. I do have to say that I did not vacation at the beach, I live near a beautiful beach. I also got very use to using an umbrella because hats just give me a bad hair day.

I have my one month appointment on Tuesday with the dermatologist and my first Miami Peel. I will post pictures before then.

Overall I am optimistic but still cautious about the whole process I am going through. I am wary of any rebound effects and am taking one day at a time.

Almost a Month

It hasn't even been a month since I started my skin treatment followed very closely by a dermatologist. Although I started out skeptical I have become more optimistic, taking in my families suggestions of a positive attitude. Maybe I just don't want to hope for too much, I know the possible side effects or rebound effect of hydroquinone.

I usually jump out of bed every morning to look in the mirror in hopes of finding that my melasma its on its way out of my life... at night I look forward to wiping away my makeup to see how much my skin has improved... as opposed to before when I dreaded taking off my makeup. I could hardly stand to see my reflection in the mirror.

Tonight as I washed the makeup off my face, I noticed a big change. The first closeup picture is of my right cheek at a different angle and with less flash and the second one is my left cheek. If you click on the pictures you can see them bigger, by the way I can't wax my upper lip so please don't look too closely!

I think the darkness of my spots also depends on the angle and lighting because the full frontal picture looks about the same. To tell you the truth I do see a change even though it's not that apparent in the last pictures, my daughters also see the change.

What do you think?

Ever Since Melasma....

I miss being able to swim in the ocean with my daughters and not worry what my face looks like coming out of the water without makeup.

I miss not being comfortable talking to people in plain daylight where my spots are more visible.

I miss my quick makeup routine in the morning.

I miss, which is bad to miss, but I miss it....the feeling of the warm sun on my body.

I also kindof miss being tan...which is probably one reason I am where I am...but not the only reason, genetics, hormones, they all play factors.

Don't Forget Your Hat!

"Oh! You forgot your hat!", my little niece said while we were in the car. Even she takes care of my face. She knows what I'm going through as does the rest of my family. They are all very supportive and helpful, optimistic and encouraging. It helps to have that support.

I was at an outdoor event the other day and even popped open an umbrella. I thought I would feel weird but it felt very normal. It was a bit uncomfortable but I guess I just have to get use to it. I have already ordered my special anti-uv umbrella. I'll let you know what it's like when it arrives, I ordered it in an olive color, so I can blend into the scenery!

About 20 more days until my next visit to the dermatologist and first chemical peel.

Update Day 11

It's been 11 days since I started my treatment. A special formula prescribed by my dermatologist, 5% hydroquinona, 0.01 % retinoic acid. I apply morning and night all over my face. I was diagnosed with melasma allover. The doctor could not believe how terrible it was after viewing me with his special uv camera.

I am not sure if you can tell in the pictures but I see a slight lightening on the very dark spots.

After a month of this treatment I was told to go back for a about 4-6 sessions of Miami Peel depending on the outcome. He will also prescribe me a new formula with a slightly higher hidroquinona and retinoic acid.

I feel confident and hopeful. It hasn't even been 2 weeks and I see a slight fading. I wear a hat constantly and stay out of direct sunlight.

Under my Umbrella

I have never been on the pill and never got melasma during pregnancy. In the summer I used to love seeing my pale, olive skin turn a beautiful golden tan...especially on my face. In high school I used to go to tanning beds before prom and in the summer never applied any sunscreen on my face until I was nice and tan, it use to make me feel healthy and glowing.

Three years ago when I first got a spot above my upper lip, that's when I started avoiding the sun, and ever since then dark patches have sprouted up everywhere, its almost like a vengeance. I have worn sunscreen religiously 12 months a year for the past 36 months and my melasma has gotten worse.

I have a nice collection of hats and stay away from the sun as much as possible. Unfortunately, I live in a very sunny place.

I am considering buying one of these anti-UV umbrellas. I wonder if I would feel silly walking around with one. Does anyone use umbrellas to protect themselves from the sun??

Avene Couvrance foundation

This is what I look like in the morning after applying my foundation which was recommended to me by my dermatologist, Avene Couvrance.At first I was a bit skeptical because it looked pretty thick, but it comes with a sponge and smooths on easily and has great coverage. According to my dermatologist´s instructions I first apply my sunscreen and then the foundation, it serves as a physical barrier against UVA rays, it has an SPF of 30 also. After the foundation I apply translucent powders. Avene also sells the powder but I am using some I had by Estee Lauder I really like. I´m really happy with this makeup because I don´t even need a coverup stick. You should apply near a window so you can get even distribution

Day 2 of Treatment

This is me after I wash my face at night and before I put on my prescribed formula. This is after the first full day of treatment...the beginning of my fight against melasma.

I try to hold out until the very last moment before taking my makeup off, it´s hard to see my reflection.

As you can tell I have olive skin, I am of Hispanic descent.
Melasma is more common in people with light brown skin, especially Hispanics and Asians.

Makeup Artist

If you were to see me out on the street you probably couldn´t tell I´m fighting melasma. It still hasn´t gotten to this extent.

My best friend, my parents. even the cosmetics lady say they can´t tell.

Of course they cant. I always wear makeup.

But lately, my makeup regimine is becoming more rigourous. It gets more difficult to camoflauge the patches and the spots. It also seems that the more I try to hide them the more I am accentuating them. Sometimes I apply, coverup, pressed powder, makeup, and more makeup. I even end up washing it all off and starting over again if I don´t get it right. I don´t care. It makes me feel better to show off the best face I can.

I don´t like looking at myself in the mirror without makeup. Only my husband and children see me without makeup lately.

A Visit to the Doctor

The first dermatologist I ever visited was in January 2008.

I sat in front of him, his big important desk as a barrier between patient and doctor. I sat there beside my husband, but felt naked without makeup.

I was in for a dark spot on my right cheek about 1/2 an inch in diameter.

He looked at me from the other side of the desk and said "You only need a dark path on your upper lip and forehead." I looked in awe as he turned to his computer to type up my prescription. No answer to my questions, no compassion, no caring, no hope dispatched this time.

I walked out amazed and not very confident. I couldn´t believe him. Not even a close up and personal look at my skin. He said he cleared these cases up 80 % of the times. I was dreading I was going to be in the 20% bunch, which I turned out to be.

He sent me a cream with 4% hydroquinone at night and a AHA cream also at night. In the morning I had to cleanse and apply another cream with glycolic acid and of course my sunblock.

I turned out having the official spot on my cheek, another smaller patch on the left cheek and also on my chin. After 2 months of my strict regimine the dark spots started to fade. After 2 more months all of sudden they were dark again.

I never went back to that doctor.

The First Day

Today is the first day of my blog and also the first day of my new skin treatment to fight against melasma.
Although I think melasma will be with me for the rest of my life, I´m hoping I can start controlling it or at least prevent it from getting worse.

I know there are alot of us out there with the same problem, and only others with melasma can truly understand what we go through.

Yes, I know it is not a life threatening disease. I am grateful for my very health body and happy spirit. Yet I am realistic in my view and believe that this disorder can cause phsycholgical problems in those that are not as strong or optimistic.

Melasma can corrode a strong and confident personality and slowly destroy your self esteem.

That´s why today I start my fight, my personal battle.